Programming Humor

Here is my contribution

Show me what you got

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I’ll go with the old classic.

There are 10 kinds of programmers in this world:
those who understand binary and those who do not.

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One of my favorite jokes!

These are 2 more of my favorites that work well together:

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In languages with exceptions:

var party = new Exception("Party!");
throw party;
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To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

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what’s a femi-nazis favorite unix command?

man bash

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This one’s a bit cryptic for younger people or non-car enthusiasts.
(I’m neither a car enthusiast or especially old, so actually had to ask someone to explain it to me when I first saw it):

feature

(Sorry for having posted the majority of these so far.)

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I just reverse image searched it, gg googs

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You’re younger than me - actually probably half my age!

me working on this website

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Hence why I didn’t understand it originally.
VW Beetles aren’t as common as they used to be.

Let’s keep the joke train rolling!

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OK, a rather lame original I though of:

Shakespearean programming:

2B or not 2B, that is the question.

Answer: FF

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I was objecting to the phrase ‘I’m neither’ wish suggests neither younger nor a car enthusiast.

Oh right, got my sentence backwards. I’m neither old nor a car enthusiast :P.

I’ve fixed it now.


Time is relative though. In the eyes of the universe we’re all young :P.

I just posted this one to my socials:

I have a problem. I know, I’ll use threads! 4 problems I have now.

And I had t-shirts made that have this on the front:

Can you guess the programmer’s language:

  1. <$>(,)
  2. @{$|[$@][$_]}
  3. @^UB#@S
  4. B@+ A@- *,+
  5. ∈Nρ⊂S←’←□
  6. #*@#&()!

The joke is on the back, where it lists Troutman’s first postulate.

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Now for a spicy meme in the form of some valid C++ code:

class Internet
{
public:
    void Meme(void)
    {
        delete this;
    }
};
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Seeing the overwhelming number of unnecessary symbols, I figured that was Objective-C. HAHA! It’s a joke. Get it?

Aparently nobody on the internet can agree what order the 6 postulates go in, looking at a few different lists I’m assuming you meant “the one language understood by all programmers”.